Some of you may have already read the truncated version of this post on thesmallseed.com. Thank you for your loyal support! Today I am going to share with you the full version of my contribution to the Small Seed’s series “House of God”. It includes more details, pictures, before and afters, and a full source list of my new prayer corner…
It turned out that I had a spinal leak in my inner ear called a Perilymphatic Fistula that was causing my balance to be distorted and the only way to fix it was surgery! Of course I couldn’t have surgery pregnant, so I had to play with the cards I had been dealt, in the best way that I could. My life changed drastically for the next 4½ months. The baby was healthy and growing fast (praise God) and my first priority was taking care of his health and my own.
Being forced to stay home in early October, just a few short months into the first semester of a new school year, and retreat from “normal life” brought on ALL KINDS of guilt, frustration, anger, sadness, confusion, anxiety, and so much more! It was honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever been through in my life, not only because I felt bad physically but mentally and emotionally I was a wreck! I felt HORRIBLE for the students, parents, and administrators that I had let down by not being able to complete the school year, even though I knew it was not my fault. I was consumed with frustration, anger, and confusion with my own body that was failing me in some ways but thriving in others. I was a very anxious person to begin with so you can imagine how bad my anxiety had become! And more than anything, I was flat out, scared to death! A million questions raced through my mind every hour of the day…
(laundry, cooking, dishes, bathing, driving, etc.)
“Will I ever feel normal again?????”
I could go into great detail on what the recovery was like for a PLF repair of the inner ear but I will spare you. Just know that it was very hard and took every ounce of strength, patience, faith, and love collectively from me, my husband, and my in-laws to get through it. It was a bonding experience to say the least! We grew closer together and learned what true selfless love is all about! I am SO incredibly grateful for everyone who helped out during this time. You know who you are.
Just recently, I decided to finish/decorate the last empty corner of our home and create a “prayer corner” as a place to sit and be still. Even though I have labeled it as my “prayer corner”, it is not necessarily just a place to pray. I intend to use it as a place to sit and be STILL, to reflect on how far I have come and how much I have to be thankful for. In this space I will keep my favorite “go-to” books including my Bible, and my 2 favorites “The Power of a Praying Wife” and “The Power of a Praying Parent”.
Here is a Before picture of the space…
Rosary-materials from Hobby Lobby, hand painted by me with French Linen by ASCP & Silver Liquid Leaf from Hobby Lobby
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The easiest way to bring serenity and peace into a space, in my opinion, is through flowers and light. By flowers I do not mean expensive flowers from a florist or even a grocery store. I feel that when I’m decorating, just having something LIVE in a vase brings more life to a space. My husband and son (he’s a toddler now) love to pick flowers for me outside. Every chance they get, they pick a flower from the gardenia bush or the magnolia tree in our front yard and put it in a glass of water for me. Even when our son was sick recently and we had to bring him to the doctor, he picked me a flower from the wooded area behind the pediatrician’s office parking lot and ran to me with a 102.8 fever holding a crepe myrtle and a hyacinth stem, SO eager to give to me!
These are my favorite books I mentioned above wrapped in black and white striped wrapping paper from Hobby Lobby. |
This is my prayer “kneeler”. I found it at Patina Interiors consignment store and painted it with ASCP in French Linen. See picture below for more details… |
I have to remind myself of this on a daily basis!